The Linguistic Gymnastics of Romance
Where hearts flutter, bosoms heave, and the language is as colorful, if not corny, as a Nooworks designer on a caffeine rush. Whether you’re a die-hard reader who dreams sepia-toned love scenes or an author writing your next bestseller, you’ve probably giggled (or groaned) at all the euphemisms that pepper these passionate pages.
Once the thought popped into my brain, I got curious. After a bit of research, I’m sharing with you some of the eye rolling, laugh out loud, entertaining terms I found used for sex, genitals, and sexual actions, broken down by subgenre.
Warning: Hot and Spicy Ahead
Subgenre Safari: Exploring the Vocabulary of Love
Historical Romance
In the glittering ballrooms where hoop skirts abound and sweating seems to be everyone’s accessory, it’s all about finesse when it comes to the lingo. Characters might look prim and proper on the surface, but their words are practically dripping with sly hints and cheeky undertones.
Instead of:
- Sex: Joining, making love, becoming one
- Genitals: manhood, womanhood (those two reign supreme in historicals), turgid shaft, velvety folds
- Sexual Action: claiming her, taking her to new heights of pleasure (ahem, in the latter, the partner sounds pretty damn sure of themselves! And who says HE can’t be taken there too? Come on, a little diversity, please!)
Example: His turgid shaft claimed her velvety folds. They became one as he claimed her beneath the chandelier’s glow, a crescendo of passion taking her to new heights that left them breathless.
Purple prose, anyone?
Contemporary Romance
Modern lovers might use more straightforward terms, but there’s still a flair for the dramatic.
Isn’t it funny how the language of love has changed? No more long, cheesy speeches. It’s all about Netflix and crazy reality show vibes. The way we speak is so precise these days, cutting right through the bullshit lines and getting straight to the point.
Lexicon of Love in today’s era: honest words, mixed with drama, and a bit of originality thrown in!
- Sex: getting it on, hooking up, making love
- Genitals: package, junk; and for the ladies, pussy, center
- Sexual Action: taking her hard and fast, and lest we forget: hawk tuah and spit on that thang!
Example: His package was large, like a Christmas present, one she was ready to unwrap, then hawk tuah and spit on that thang with the enthusiasm of a kid on a sugar high.
Paranormal Romance
When the lover is a vampire or a shapeshifting centaur, the language gets a bit… otherworldly.
Instead of:
- Sex: Mating, bonding, connecting on a primal level
- Genitals: Throbbing length, slick core – FYI, in Troll-y Yours, Alex affectionately named his unit Meat Wrench.
- Sexual Action: Devouring her, dropping between her legs
Example: Under the full moon, his throbbing length found her slick core, their primal connection igniting a flame that devoured her.
Inspirational Romance
Even sweet and inspirational romance finds a way to express love beautifully.
- Sex: Becoming one in spirit and body
- Genitals: Sacred places, holy union
- Sexual Action: Uniting in love, sharing a divine connection
Example: Their sacred places met in a holy union, sharing a divine connection that brought them closer to heaven.
Romantic Wrap Up
So, boom, there you have it. A quick overview of romance novel euphemisms. The lexicon of love has many languages, and most are hilarious. Whether you’re an author crafting your own story, or a reader (maybe a reviewer?) diving into another, the words used for love, sex, and body parts are sure to make us chuckle, blush, or both.
Now, it’s your turn: What’s your favorite, or least fav, word used in romance novels to describe…you know. The things.
Leave your thoughts in the comments and let’s make this conversation lively.
Until next time!
XO,
Sheri
Oh Sheri, I laughed out loud several times through this! I think my faves go to male crime writers trying to write sex scenes, and my VERY fave is: “her breasts were like two eager terriers” – Try THAT in front of a mirror!!
Two eager terriers? ROFL
LMAO! I have a terrier, and if my “girls” suddenly became eager like that, they’d jump the cups and drag me across the yard. An exorcism would shortly ensue.
When you consider that the romance industry pukes out more books than any other, I think it’s hard to write those scenes with any heat-inducing terminology that hasn’t been used a thousand times over.
I think there are body parts thesauruses out there. It might be fun to download a copy and check it out. I wonder if “eager terriers” would be listed. LOL