Strange non-war, never
happened, PTSD event.
happened, PTSD event.
As part of my ‘humans
can’t remember worth crap’ blogs, I would like to share how I managed to give a
friend a PTSD event without actually doing anything but talk.
can’t remember worth crap’ blogs, I would like to share how I managed to give a
friend a PTSD event without actually doing anything but talk.
In fact, I had no idea I’d
done great harm until many years later when Facebook came to be and we all
reunited electronically. She PM’d about the time we kidnapped a cute guy named
Steve, tossed him into my roomie’s car and drove around for hours before
releasing him.
done great harm until many years later when Facebook came to be and we all
reunited electronically. She PM’d about the time we kidnapped a cute guy named
Steve, tossed him into my roomie’s car and drove around for hours before
releasing him.
I did recall the cute guy
named Steve and I’m certain my roomie had a car, which I often drove in, but I
had NO recollection of kidnapping cute Steve against his will. However, my
friend did and the guilt of her memories had continued to grow over the years
until it had become a major traumatic event in her life. (While she didn’t say
so in her comment, for such ‘guilt’ to grow, I’m thinking in her memories we
did something more than drive him around
Oklahoma for hours. I’ve no idea what we did, because I’ve no memory of the
event.)
named Steve and I’m certain my roomie had a car, which I often drove in, but I
had NO recollection of kidnapping cute Steve against his will. However, my
friend did and the guilt of her memories had continued to grow over the years
until it had become a major traumatic event in her life. (While she didn’t say
so in her comment, for such ‘guilt’ to grow, I’m thinking in her memories we
did something more than drive him around
Oklahoma for hours. I’ve no idea what we did, because I’ve no memory of the
event.)
Wishing to resolve the
matter, I contacted my former roomie and asked her if she remembered us ever
kidnapping Steve. Nope. Then I contacted Steve. Surely he would remember? His
reply: ‘Nope, but sounds like fun.’
matter, I contacted my former roomie and asked her if she remembered us ever
kidnapping Steve. Nope. Then I contacted Steve. Surely he would remember? His
reply: ‘Nope, but sounds like fun.’
Clearly Steve was
thinking we’d be doing something more than driving around town, as well,
because having my roomie drive us about for hours didn’t sound fun at all to
me. She was a terrible driver back then and her constant braking and then
speeding up would make me car sick….or so I remember now.
thinking we’d be doing something more than driving around town, as well,
because having my roomie drive us about for hours didn’t sound fun at all to
me. She was a terrible driver back then and her constant braking and then
speeding up would make me car sick….or so I remember now.
However, since neither
the alleged victim nor me or my roomie remembers the event at all, I let my
friend know it didn’t happen so she could stop feeling guilty.
the alleged victim nor me or my roomie remembers the event at all, I let my
friend know it didn’t happen so she could stop feeling guilty.
Want to guess how that
ended?
ended?
She PM’s me back, very
angry and assures me it did happen and it altered her life, and goes on about
the pain it has caused her. Then she defriends me.
angry and assures me it did happen and it altered her life, and goes on about
the pain it has caused her. Then she defriends me.
Until I discovered how
easily memories could be created, I had no idea what had just happened. Upon
giving the matter more thought, this is what I think happened, but I could be
making it up. Who the hell knows!
easily memories could be created, I had no idea what had just happened. Upon
giving the matter more thought, this is what I think happened, but I could be
making it up. Who the hell knows!
I faintly recall one night the three of us
were in our dorm room, and I said “wouldn’t it be fun if we kidnapped Steve…”
and then me and my roomie, both being of theatrical natures, created an entire
event of fun things to do with cute Steve.
were in our dorm room, and I said “wouldn’t it be fun if we kidnapped Steve…”
and then me and my roomie, both being of theatrical natures, created an entire
event of fun things to do with cute Steve.
I think my friend got so
caught up in our imagination, that it settled in her brain and later when she
recalled it, the part of it being a ‘funny idea’ wasn’t retained, but the
kidnapping was. And thus began the foundation of her PTSD event. And while my
brain said, ‘You’re just making shit up, I’m not recording any of this’, her
brain said ‘let’s record this. It’s a fascinating event.’
caught up in our imagination, that it settled in her brain and later when she
recalled it, the part of it being a ‘funny idea’ wasn’t retained, but the
kidnapping was. And thus began the foundation of her PTSD event. And while my
brain said, ‘You’re just making shit up, I’m not recording any of this’, her
brain said ‘let’s record this. It’s a fascinating event.’
My friend now lives in a
remote place, raising llamas, selling llama sweaters via the internet. I hope,
trauma memory aside, she loves her life, for I recall her being a lovely person
and I feel bad about planting the seed that became her future trauma.
remote place, raising llamas, selling llama sweaters via the internet. I hope,
trauma memory aside, she loves her life, for I recall her being a lovely person
and I feel bad about planting the seed that became her future trauma.
The Hardest Love
A Long Road to Love Series
By Liza O’Connor
BLURB
THE HARDEST LOVE
IS TO LOVE YOURSELF
IS TO LOVE YOURSELF
Sam Lancaster is a lost man. Since returning
from the war in Iraq, his life has been spiraling out of control. Attempting to
escape his troubles, first he moves to a small town of Denton, Iowa, where he
becomes the sheriff and beats up the local trouble. When that ceases to work,
he seeks peace at a Vermont hunting lodge, where he gets arrested for shooting
fish rather than throwing them a line. After spending five months in a work
camp to pay for his many crimes, he gets out only to discover Carrie is in danger—again. Convinced he’s the only
one who can keep the little Pint Size safe, he rushes back to NYC.
from the war in Iraq, his life has been spiraling out of control. Attempting to
escape his troubles, first he moves to a small town of Denton, Iowa, where he
becomes the sheriff and beats up the local trouble. When that ceases to work,
he seeks peace at a Vermont hunting lodge, where he gets arrested for shooting
fish rather than throwing them a line. After spending five months in a work
camp to pay for his many crimes, he gets out only to discover Carrie is in danger—again. Convinced he’s the only
one who can keep the little Pint Size safe, he rushes back to NYC.
During
his absence, Mars has turned the Lancaster estate into a sanctuary for injured
vets. Sam agrees to take a test that proves he has Swiss cheese memories that
are inaccurate and dangerous. Even knowing this, his PTSD continues to worsen.
While he’s deemed to be a poor candidate for a new method of self-correction, his
many friends will try anything to save him.
his absence, Mars has turned the Lancaster estate into a sanctuary for injured
vets. Sam agrees to take a test that proves he has Swiss cheese memories that
are inaccurate and dangerous. Even knowing this, his PTSD continues to worsen.
While he’s deemed to be a poor candidate for a new method of self-correction, his
many friends will try anything to save him.
When
danger shows up at the Sanctuary, Mars gives him a mission to evaluate the potential
threat from certain staff members. On top of his list is Sam’s new girlfriend.
Figures!
danger shows up at the Sanctuary, Mars gives him a mission to evaluate the potential
threat from certain staff members. On top of his list is Sam’s new girlfriend.
Figures!
EXCERPT
Damn, but Sam, liked this
woman. Which was really strange. She was so not his type. “What’s your name?”
woman. Which was really strange. She was so not his type. “What’s your name?”
“Aggie.”
“What type of name is
that?” Aggie sounded like a mascot for a football team.
that?” Aggie sounded like a mascot for a football team.
“Short for Agnes.”
“Your parents should be
shot.”
shot.”
“Didn’t have any. You
should go after the nuns instead.”
should go after the nuns instead.”
“Nuns named you?”
“Yeah, they named and
raised me. I was evidently too cheerful so they decided to ruin my life with a
god-awful name.”
raised me. I was evidently too cheerful so they decided to ruin my life with a
god-awful name.”
Laughing at her response,
he sat on the bed to put on his shoes. “I see they failed. Good for you.”
he sat on the bed to put on his shoes. “I see they failed. Good for you.”
To his surprise, she sat
on the bed beside him. “Could you hurry up? Carlos is really excited for you to
see him.”
on the bed beside him. “Could you hurry up? Carlos is really excited for you to
see him.”
“Excited?” The last time he’d
visited him at the Vet’s hospital, Carlos had begged him for a gun so he could
end his life.
visited him at the Vet’s hospital, Carlos had begged him for a gun so he could
end his life.
“Super excited. He’s been
up since six, waiting for you to arrive.”
up since six, waiting for you to arrive.”
Sam
glanced at his watch: 12:05.
glanced at his watch: 12:05.
“Jeez, I had no idea how late it was.” He
jumped up. “Sorry for yelling at you for waking me up. I thought it was early
morning.
jumped up. “Sorry for yelling at you for waking me up. I thought it was early
morning.
Walking to his window,
Aggie petted his curtains. “That’s because your room has thick curtains capable
of blocking the sunlight. Oddly, all the staff members have sheer curtains so
the sun can wake us up very early, even on our days off.” Then she headed out
the door.
Aggie petted his curtains. “That’s because your room has thick curtains capable
of blocking the sunlight. Oddly, all the staff members have sheer curtains so
the sun can wake us up very early, even on our days off.” Then she headed out
the door.
“Hold up,” he said as he
finished tying his tennis shoes. She was already twenty feet down the hall,
requiring him to jog to catch up with her long legged stride. Once beside her,
he asked, “I gather you’re not happy working here?”
finished tying his tennis shoes. She was already twenty feet down the hall,
requiring him to jog to catch up with her long legged stride. Once beside her,
he asked, “I gather you’re not happy working here?”
“What would make you
think that?” she asked and turned down another hallway which had not existed
when Sam used to live here.
think that?” she asked and turned down another hallway which had not existed
when Sam used to live here.
“I love my job, this
place, and the people. I’d just appreciate heavier curtains on my days off.”
place, and the people. I’d just appreciate heavier curtains on my days off.”
“Have you mentioned it to
Mars?” Sam stared about, recognizing nothing. How could Mars change so much in
so little time?
Mars?” Sam stared about, recognizing nothing. How could Mars change so much in
so little time?
“The CEO? No oddly my
curtain’s density didn’t seem something to bring up to the busiest man alive. I
did mention it to my boss, but he didn’t see any reason to escalate the matter.
Instead, he suggested I focus on the positives and not go out of my way to find
a negative.”
curtain’s density didn’t seem something to bring up to the busiest man alive. I
did mention it to my boss, but he didn’t see any reason to escalate the matter.
Instead, he suggested I focus on the positives and not go out of my way to find
a negative.”
BUY LINKS
Released May 5, 2015
A Long Road to Love
The Hardest Love
Book Five
Other books in the A Long Road to Love series
Book One
Worst Week Ever
Amazon
“Love this book and couldn’t stop laughing from beginning to end.”
5 stars – Alves – Amazon
5 stars – Alves – Amazon
Book Two
Oh Stupid Heart
“Be warned though, this book is completely different from The
Worst Week Ever. Yes, there is still humor, dry wit, situations that you would
think…NOT AGAIN but this one humanizes Trent more.” 5 stars – Brian’s Mom –
Amazon
Worst Week Ever. Yes, there is still humor, dry wit, situations that you would
think…NOT AGAIN but this one humanizes Trent more.” 5 stars – Brian’s Mom –
Amazon
Book Three
Coming to Reason
Once again, Ms. O’Connor has written a brilliant book about the
complexities of relationships, good and bad. Again, to me, the book is the best
break up book EVER and it left my heart singing in the end. Best.Book.Ever…
complexities of relationships, good and bad. Again, to me, the book is the best
break up book EVER and it left my heart singing in the end. Best.Book.Ever…
Book Four
Climbing out of Hell
“In typical @Liza0Connor fashion, crazy things
happen which make you laugh outloud.”
happen which make you laugh outloud.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Liza O’Connor
Liza lives in Denville, NJ with her dog Jess. They
hike in fabulous woods every day, rain or shine, sleet or snow. Having an
adventurous nature, she learned to fly small Cessnas in NJ, hang-glide in New
Zealand, kayak in Pennsylvania, ski in New York, scuba dive with great white
sharks in Australia, dig up dinosaur bones in Montana, sky dive in Indiana, and
raft a class four river in Tasmania. She’s an avid gardener, amateur
photographer, and dabbler in watercolors and graphic arts. Yet through her
entire life, her first love has and always will be writing novels. She loves to
create interesting characters, set them loose, and scribe what happens.
hike in fabulous woods every day, rain or shine, sleet or snow. Having an
adventurous nature, she learned to fly small Cessnas in NJ, hang-glide in New
Zealand, kayak in Pennsylvania, ski in New York, scuba dive with great white
sharks in Australia, dig up dinosaur bones in Montana, sky dive in Indiana, and
raft a class four river in Tasmania. She’s an avid gardener, amateur
photographer, and dabbler in watercolors and graphic arts. Yet through her
entire life, her first love has and always will be writing novels. She loves to
create interesting characters, set them loose, and scribe what happens.
FOR MORE
INFORMATION ABOUT
INFORMATION ABOUT
LIZA O’CONNOR & UPCOMING BOOKS:
Thanks for having me, and I swear I believe my tale is true. (The kidnapping tale…I know for certain I made up my fictional tale. That came from my demented brain.)
LOL. Love this! Can't wait to read the book!
I hope you do. If you haven't read the others yet, try reading them in reverse order. That might be fun.
Wow what a story!
Yes, and I genuinely believe it happened as I said. But upon discovering how bad memories are, I don't trust anything I remember.
Great story.
Thanks
I loved this book! A must read… Now I'm worried though about any of my memories!
Yes, that is the downside of discovering the truth. You lose all confidence in your memories. However, it really helps resolves differences when you realize that your memory might not remember correctly.
Interesting stuff, Liza!
Worrisome stuff.